Finding Closure with Florals
During the first five years of my life, my mom, my sister, and I lived with my grandma. During the days my mom worked, and my sister and I stayed home. We only had antennae TV, so PBS was the only remotely interesting channel. I remember passing many afternoons watching Bob Ross and Donna Dewberry paint. I also passed many afternoons watching my grandma paint..
As many of you know, my grandmother passed away in May. She had lung failure, heart failure, and liver failure, but passed easily in her sleep. If she felt any pain, she didn't let any of us know.
The last decade of her life seemed like a shell of its former glory. Several strokes and dementia took away her interest in crafting. The quilts, dollhouses, stained glass, and other crafts came to a halt.
Months after she died, we returned to her house (which has been left alone as it was). I was able to reclaim many of my childhood art projects that had decorated her walls for over 20 years.
I was reminded of my sadness that I could never share my current paintings with her. Those last dementia-influenced years meant she knew little about my life since I turned 18. She never really grasped that I went to college or graduated and got married. She never really understood that I went into treatment for anorexia in the summer of 2012. She never saw the paintings I create now; she only saw my childhood creations.
But her faith in my talent as an artist never wavered. She believed in me before I did, and continued to believe even when a lot of her knowledge about me faded.
This fall I began to paint florals one day. I did this because that's mostly what I remember grandma painting - flowers on door hangers, flowers on birdhouses, flowers on stained glass, and crocheting flowers into quilts. She grew flowers and other plants in the yard and in the house, her green thumb something I did not inherit.
So, thinking about my grandma, I just started painting flowers. And while doing this, I knew that she could see me.
My Friend, Fear, the new collection featuring these florals as well as landscapes, portraits, and abstracts will be available on Halloween 2017.